A New "Home Sweet Home"

        If you'd like a real vacation
        From menus pots, and pans
        If you're tired of hectic shopping
        And meals eaten out of hand,

        If you'd like a little fairy
        To come and clean your room
        Change the beds, the towels ,then vacuum
        So you never need your broom
        If you're tired of your own company
        And lonely as can be
        Then it's time you gathered up your
        things And came to the Pawnee.

        If you'd like a friendly smile
        Each time you passed the desk
        And you'd find pleasure just in knowing
        That you're luckier than the rest;
        For when you've been away from home
        They'll report who came or phoned
        Or even take a message
        So you feel quite free to roam.

        You can join in fun or frolic,
        Or sit quietly in your room.
        They're always friends who're near
        at hand That surely is a boon.
        So if you're looking for a life
        That's full and fancy-free
        I'll guarantee you'll find it
        When you come to the Pawnee.

        If you're tired of cutting grass
        And also shoveling snow
        If you find it hard to keep ahead
        Of all the things that grow;
        If the boy throws your paper
        Under the porch or in the trees
        If the mail is often late
        And then to get it you must freeze
        If it's a long way to the dime store
        And the beauty parlor too
        And the old jitney doesn't start
        The way it used to do
        Then it's time to reconnoiter
        And I think that you"ll agree
        You'd be better off a livin'
        At ease in the Pawnee.

        When then the storm clouds start to
        gather Big and black in the southwest
        And you're gettin' scared and wonderin'
        Which place would be the best;
        And the sirens start to bellow
        And you're wonderin' where to flee
        You'd already have a shelter
        In the lobby of the Pawnee

        If your pipes are froze and busted
        And the roof begins to leak
        And the neighbors are so busy
        That they hardly ever speak
        If you're tuckered out and longing
        To enjoy sweet company
        Tell everyone your new address
        Is in care of the Pawnee

        Janice Weeks, Chamberlin, Hankins, Rogers